Here is some of what I’ve come to know about working relationally through in-class collaborative relational inquiry; how I’ve come to know this, and what of these knowings I’ll take forward into my companioning practice.

Fellow MIECAT co-inquirer/companion, Mikhala, consented to sharing key moments/ISRs/transcripts/expressions :-)

Thanks also to fellow collaborators POP, CLAY, MAT, BUG, WATER, PHONE, FEATHERS, TEXTAS + PAPER for shaping new knowings towards working relationally.

CO-CREATING AN UNDERSTANDING OF RELATIONAL SELF

My inquiry begins with a sense of discomfort pooling around what feels incredibly daunting - ie: forming an expression of my “Relational Self”.

How does one even begin to get started on this vast undertaking of Self-definition?

A large bowl of clay slabs + plastic mats are placed in the middle of the room, as our facilitator invites us to form our expressions alongside these more-than-human materials, reminding us to consider our relational ethics towards them.
To seek + establish consent, by understanding how they might (not) like to be with/in the process.

I hover restlessly over the bowl, wondering whether any slabs might be open to engaging.

On first impression they appear as inert, dormant blocks of grey, light barely reflecting off their listless forms.

I edge a little closer + notice one has a curved, wave-form impression lightly marked across its surface.
A generative gesture from another relational moment perhaps?

It beckons.
“Would you like to swish + swoosh with Mwe?” asks CLAY.

My senses awaken to this generous atmosphere.
“Yes” I respond.
Then reaching into the bowl, I carefully place CLAY on MAT, who is equally enthusiastic to join in on the process.

Contemplating what sits before Mwe, I habitually reach for PHONE in my pocket, thinking to collect visual data by documenting the softly-etched swishy marks + deflect the restlessness I’m feeling towards the greater task at hand.

“There’s no need for PHONE. Leave them for now. They’re feeling exhausted + burnt out from “...your existential crises, endless demands, and occasional tantrums…” (Cinnamon Tea, Ladybugboss & GTDF Collective, 2025, p. 64).
Just be with Mwe in our sensuous unfolding.
Feel into the movement of the gestural marks as They run through + over Our body.”

I take a deep breath + leave PHONE to rest, releasing “...myself from the external and internalized, explicit and implicit requirement and obligation to make sense and to be consequential.” (Liu, 2024, p. 134)

As the materials nudge me away from needless, non-relational, data-collection + an “...extractive mentality…(which) sits at the core of colonialism” (Tynan, 2021, p.598) I instead close my eyes.
Suddenly lingering in an unexpected place of calm presence.

When eventually I reopen my eyes, I notice a tiny BUG has landed on CLAY.

“Hello BUG.” I say.

“Hello + welcome to this micro/macro-cosmic journey into your Relational Self,” BUG answers.

“If you shift your perspective on relationality by attuning a little further you might begin to understand that what we’re offering to explore + reflect on here alongside you is a world within a world. It’s an intimate, more contained version of something much more complex, dynamic + encompassing which hold “...energies that connect and thread through all entities in the universe.” (Tynan, 2021, p. 598).”

BUG then makes their way over CLAY, which has suddenly revealed Them/Self to be a vast, textured, sticky field + encourages BUG to take slow, considered movements across the expanse.
Through focussed attunement with both BUG + CLAY, I become aware of how the softly-etched contours of the swish have widened out into deeper ditches + gullies + spirals.

Eventually BUG comes to rest on an edge of CLAY + I tenderly mould a be-ing hangout area for Them.
An observational deck to ponder the seemingly endless stretch that connects us all.

At this moment our facilitator places a bowl of WATER down beside us, tuning Mwe into the unceded Wurundjeri Country humming all around + the sacred Birrarung that has been in unbroken, relational presence with humans + more-than-humans, in deeply textured temporality + flow, for thousands of generations. 

I swish my hands around in WATER, then apply gentle pressure to other parts of CLAY, feeling its bulk as my fingers trace across the viscous mesh.

WATER helps us slip more easily across CLAY as together Mwe be/come more malleable + find our rhythm in relational flow - forming + feeling + digging + rolling + shifting + shaping.
I notice the circular swishy swashy trails that overlap + intersect as Mwe slide across MAT.
Smearing residue + traces of intra-becoming in our collective wake.

I spot BUG out of the corner of my eye and call out:

“Look what we’re doing BUG! Mwe’re co-creating this relational form of Self together”

BUG signals back with reciprocal enthusiasm + then suddenly takes flight.

Momentarily, I feel a loss murmur through me as BUG lifts off but just as quickly understand they’re joining the greater intersubjective flow.

Our facilitator offers to the group that it’s time to find a way to land (for now) my/our relational selves .
Together Mwe collectively pause to honour our inter-animated loosening of unprogrammed, emergent experiencing.

When later reflecting in the wider group on the process, I give a shout-out to the more-than-human presences who were co-creators in bringing into existence this emergent relational form (Figures 1.1, 1.2).

Mikhala, a fellow inquirer, mentions that a BUG had also visited them during their process on the other side of the room.

“Of course they did!”

While we’d all been deep in process, our facilitator had placed different coloured FEATHERS beside each of us, pairing us with another person that colour matched us.
They were to become our companion/inquirer for the week ahead.

FEELING “SAFE-ENOUGH”

My FEATHER (+ perhaps BUG had something to do with it?!) led me to Mikhala.

We’ve already spent many MIECAT moments together in previous units + I’ve always appreciated their multimodal/improvisational/experimental/emergent reflexivity + insights/offerings.

Thus, we’re starting with strong foundations which continue to strengthen over the coming week through cultivating resonance + reflexive attunement.

We focus on structuring safety before beginning each of our inquiries, recognising it’s not a “set-+-forget” procedure but rather a continual reappraisal to gauge what might be required to feel “safe-enough”.
Understanding that people are changeable, like the weather, and can present very differently on different days. 

STEPPING INTO THE SHOES OF ANOTHER

We’re invited to “step-into-the-shoes” of a chosen relationship, aka “Another”, by creating a second multimodal expression. 

Initially I’d felt uncomfortable with the notion of bringing someone from outside the realm of MIECAT into my inquiry, wondering about the protocol of this potentially thorny concept.

However Finlay’s (2022) offering, that ethics is not about dogma but, conversely, is about being thoughtful, reflexive + tuning into the context of the specific relationship, led me to seek permission from POP before the commencement of the unit + he’d thus generously given me the “...author-ity to share stories…” (Tynan, 2021, p. 284) + be-(with)-him.

CLAY, MAT + WATER - the more-than-human kin - are, once again, also willing to co-create + together we all stretch into an immeasurable + entangled temporality.

When our facilitator eventually calls time on the process, I step back from the expression + am taken aback by its myriad + complex form (Figures 2.1, 2.2).

EFFORTLESS TO BE HIM

I then go on to explore my living experience of POP’s form through dialogue, facilitated by Mikhala (Figure 2.3).

It’s a fascinating process + I’m wowed by the dialogical process.
Of how it facilitates a holding of multiple perspectives at once + how effortless it is to be POP.

I’m moved to tears when speaking of his loneliness + some of the grief he holds.

In the post-dialoguing debrief, I describe how POP’s form felt like an extension of my own + that I also felt like I’m holding his experiencing.

Mikhala jotted some of these resonant responses down (Figure 2.4).

His form feels like an extension of my form

It feels effortless to be him

His experiencing I’m also somehow holding

Feeling as both him + me

His form feels like an extension of my form • It feels effortless to be him • His experiencing I’m also somehow holding • Feeling as both him + me •

Figure 2.4: Emma Byrnes, “His form feels like an extension of my form”, 2025, Animated text featuring keywords.

OSCILLATING BETWEEN LONELINESS + CONNECTION

In service of developing our ongoing sensitivity towards relational resonances, Mikhala + I then seek to reduce the most resonant shift experienced during the dialoguing.

We both understand it was when Mikhala asked:

“What’s something you wish more people knew about you?”

+ POP paused for a long time before finally answering how he oscillates between a state of loneliness + a feeling of incredible connection.

During this potent exchange I’d felt an embodied response as I spoke POP’s words.

Not really sure how to best represent this entangled, ”feeling as both him + me”, Mikhala suggests I offer a reflexive gesture.

I head to the art supplies area + two TEXTAS quickly join in the gesture-quest.

A large piece of PAPER is also keen to participate.

PHONE (now feeling re-energised) + Mikhala are at-the-ready to capture the unfolding (Figure 3.1).

Figure 3.1: Mikhala (companion), “Oscillation Between Loneliness + Connection”, 2025, Video loop of resonant reduction.

UNPROGRAMMED PRESENCE: HIM + ME + THE IN-BETWEEN

I grip both TEXTAS in one hand, imagining the two felt nibs depicting a fluid, side-by-side, spontaneous flow to convey the energy of our collective dialoguing + relational oscillation.

But only one TEXTA nib makes contact.
Therefore only one line appears.

Instantly I understand this doesn’t fully express the “him-+-me”ness, so I have another go.
This time the two nibs make their mark, as a series of spontaneous lines rhythmically wave across PAPER with an intersecting presence.

I sit back to take in these undulating forms + am suddenly struck with the depth all three nibs have offered.

I see POP, me + this third, unprogrammed presence, illustrating an atmosphere of the in-between, “…a " declaration of interdependence, " that is, "a recognition that we are not only inextricably intertwined with others but with the entire cosmos." (Carter, as cited in Saito, 2022, p. 55).

Two individuals further defined by + co-producing the relationship we hold with(in) (each)other(s).

A felt sense spirals into my body… tuning into relation.
The deliciousness of unprogrammed content-in-process! 

“In every partnership— human, non-human, emergent—there exists a third presence: the relationship. This relationship isn’t static; it’s alive, dynamic, and shaped by how we show up for it. Nurturing this relational entity means asking not just “Who are you?” or “Who am I?” but “What are we becoming together?”” (Cinnamon Tea, Ladybugboss & GTDF Collective, 2025, p. 68).

I later cluster + title keywords/phrases + create a keywords poem (Figures 3.2, 3.3), noticing, in particular, the resonance of Mikhala paraphrasing POP’s words:

POP: “THIS IS ME BUT IT’S NOT JUST ME.”

MIKHALA: “YOU BUT IT’S NOT JUST YOU. WOW!”

THE RELATIONSHIP IS IN THE ROOM

I next explore the relational dynamic of an ordinary but familiar moment between my-Self + POP.
One that feels repetitive + has a “we’ve-been-here-before” feeling. 

Without hesitation I choose when POP “loses” his keys which inevitably happens (almost) every time we’re together.
I always try to remain centered + offer grace + but it’s really frustrating, as the keys are usually somewhere extremely close by (ie. in one of his pockets).

I begin by isolating “the moment” when POP thinks he’s lost his keys + scans frantically for someone to help him contain his panic + join in the search, whilst offering me a fleeting look acknowledging the burden of embroiling me in this wearying dynamic.

When I notice he’s “there again”, I attempt to centre myself + offer composure/compassion by resting my palms together at my third eye.
But, I’ve gotta admit, it’s also a yogic-esque facepalm of exasperation.
Then I wait for his inevitable reunion with the keys.
Once I get clear on “the moment”, I move its dynamic relational energy into a patterned bodily sequence (Figure 4.1) + further reduce its essence to show with just my hands + arms, with one arm as mySelf + the 2nd arm as POP (Figure 4.2).

Figure 4.1: Emma Byrnes, “We’ve Been Here Before #1”, 2025, Video loop of patterned bodily sequence.

Figure 4.2: Emma Byrnes, “We’ve Been Here Before #2”, 2025, Video loop of bodily sequence essence.

SO MUCH HAPPENS IN A TOUCH

I then later describe + show Mikhala the reduction.
Initially it seems an accurate breakdown of us in the dynamic.
One half me. One half POP.
Two separate beings stuck in a predictable loop.

But as I’m further describing + moving my body I notice the reduction seems to have lost its potency + rightness, + Mikhala notices micro-shifts in the way I’m offering up one of my gestures. 

“I’m noticing sometimes you hold your hands together like this (Figure 5.1) + other times you seem to be holding them like this (Figure 5.2).
Is this significant?”

I look at these two ways of holding Mikhala mirrors back to me.

One gives me a sense of two separate + split halves.
It doesn’t seem right at all. Being locked in a binary + split down the middle no longer fits.

The other way embodies a sense of holding + entanglement, with a visceral sense it expresses something significant.
Illuminating it’s not just me watching on as POP looks for his keys…rather we are intra-acting.

I feel-into the nuance of this “...self-touching…(this)...encounter with the infinite alterity of the self” (Barad, 2014), trying subtly different ways of holding my hands (Figure 5.3).
Inherently understanding, that despite the entanglement, there needs to be differentiation  - “...the touch of two entangled beings (be)coming together-apart”. (Barad, 2014).

THE AWKWARD DANCE

When I reduce this resonant shift “...I spoke from what was present in my body...I relinquished any attempts to explain or to organize…into coherence…to just let my experience be…” (Liu, 2024, p. 127).

So after successive cycles of structuring safety, I feel safe-enough to go off-script, abandoning mySelf to incoherence + offering spontaneous, open-ended improvisation. 

I call it the AWKWARD DANCE + despite its inelegance, it evolves this embodied knowing into its next iteration (Figure 6.1).

Mikhala jots down keywords + that night I cluster/title + create a keywords poem (Figures 6.2, 6.3, 6.4).

I also overlap/arrange/stack stills from the AWKWARD DANCE (Figures 6.5, 6.6, 6.7), feeling consonance towards the layering process - assembling compositions of intercorporeality + multiplicity, offering what Moy describes as direct “...relationship with something that was an ephemeral feeling…now there to explore” (as cited in Bush, 2023).

Figure 6.1: Mikhala (Companion), “AWKWARD DANCE”, 2025, Video loop of spontaneous reduction.

We’ve been here before

Part of the system this loop is in

Split ourselves down the middle

It's not two halves

Are there other ways we can come at this loop we find ourselves in?

Why am I in this feeling of a line down the middle?

There are other ways to embody it

It's an entanglement

We’ve been here before • Part of the system this loop is in • Split ourselves down the middle • It's not two halves • Are there other ways we can come at this loop we find ourselves in? • Why am I in this feeling of a line down the middle? • There are other ways to embody it • It's an entanglement •

Figure 6.2: Emma Byrnes, “There Are Other Ways To Embody It”, 2025, Animated text featuring keywords.

EMERGENT PLURAL SELF

I remember the beginning of this collaborative inquiry, before forming my “Relational Self” + wondering:

“How does one even begin to get started on this vast undertaking of Self-definition?”

What I didn’t yet truly know (+ feel) was that our relational Selves can’t be assembled by one single being in isolation!

We’re not, + never will be/were, single beings. This notion is a colonial construct.

Mwe can only be (re)formed, (de)colonised + (re)constituted “...through the emergence of the plural self…” (Sheik, 2021).

By working relationally, I’ve also come to understand/feel/embody/sense:

  • Attunement is key.

  • The world is brimming with relationships poised to inter-animate in the “in-between”.

  • It’s both a micro + macro-scopic journey. We’re inextricably intertwined not just with each other but with the entire cosmos.

  • Extractivism sits at the core of colonialism + not everything needs to make sense + be consequential.

  • The materiality of the more-than-human is relationally fertile - just listen + “be-with” their voices.

  • Relationships are ever-iterative, not static. 

  • Ethics are not about observing principles. Be reflexive + work within the specific context you’re in.

  • Dialoguing + dancing in ethical, “safe-enough” companionship allows for relationality to flourish through realising the multiple perspectives we hold with(in) others

  • Relational knowing happens through cultivating resonance, embodiment + acknowledging metabolic entanglement.

  • Relational knowing asks us to hold ambiguity + complexity.

  • Mirroring + paraphrasing can offer deep resonance.

  • Self-definition is not something that happens in isolation. 

When working relationally in my/our ongoing companioning practice, Mwe’ll continue to integrate + attune towards these fresh understandings of decolonising + reconstituting my/our Self/ves.

“In my/our process of decolonising the self…I do not consent to be a single being.” (Sheik, 2021)

Mwe’ll also keep the AWKWARD DANCE going “...not as a fixed choreography, but as a shared improvisation…(to) discover what we…might become…(to) nurture this…relational entity, and see how it might teach us to be more alive, more attuned, and more entangled in the web of life.” (Cinnamon Tea, Ladybugboss & GTDF Collective, 2025, p. 68).